The Journey Begins

...and I think I know what the ending is, but then again, you never know.

I believe, the grand finale is when a child is placed in your home. At some point, that part does happen, right?

It's so weird...adoption. When you really think about it. All of a sudden, regardless of age, a new being is entrusted to you and yours. Perhaps a baby is easier than someone who has engraved memories. Still, you look at this child and think that you're completely changing their life as they know it or would have known it. Hopefully for the better.

I don't feel as if I'm being pessimistic or "morbid", but these are the thoughts I have when it comes to adoption and the adoption story that Pastor Husband, Baby Girl, Baby Dos, and I have just started.

Pastor Husband - who has better printing than I do - was hard at work filling out our adoption application two nights ago while I verbally gave him the answers. No, it wasn't a test, but it was definitely a test of our memories! My apartment number from ten years ago! Yeah right! Thank you Google, thank you Google. You are helping this adoption take bloom. After a lot of searching, mapping, and digging through public records online we completed the application.

We took the application to the post office this morning.

Even as I type, I feel a bit queasy. Quasi-morning sickness? It's so scary! Sometimes - honestly a lot of the time - I don't feel like I'm a good enough mom to the two we already have and someone may say I'm good enough for another?

We prayed over the envelope. Whatever the decision or baby or child or age or gender or color God is deciding. He may decide that we shouldn't officially adopt, but keep up our unofficial adoptions of our youth-turned-young-adults from before. I hope that in this lifetime we do adopt others in the same way that God has adopted my little family.