"Sunday's a'coming!"

That was the term Pastor Husband used during a sermon a couple of months ago. When Monday feels like it's going to be forever, trials never seem to have an end, or when stress is the only emotion you've felt for the last month - always remember that "Sunday's a'coming!". Always remember there is hope and there is joy. I thought about this phrase as we entered the new zone in Baby Girl's life. The no-nursing zone!

::Sing Twilight's Zone theme song now::

We started weaning a couple of weeks before the big numero uno birthday and she had her last bit of me about a week ago. It was hard for both of us. Probably physically and emotionally for both of us. The day time was fine, no melt-downs and with napping, snacks, and meals it was actually nice to have some time to do all of it plus play. Pastor Husband and I were worried about the mornings and I was incredibly worried about bedtime.

I know, I know, I know...don't feed your baby to sleep. I've heard it and read it, but it worked for us. And I loved it. I loved that calm, quiet time between us with her sound maker playing the rain and the slow, swirling image of the fishes on the ceiling. I also think that Baby Girl sleeps better with a full tummy...the girl loves to eat so why not fall asleep doing something she loves. Anyway, it worked. She would wake up maybe once during the night with a quick cry and fall right back asleep. I don't feel as if this routine backfired on us at all. Well, maybe, until now...Baby Girl has not enjoyed being put to bed anymore.

"Sunday's a'coming!" and it came for us last night after two nights of no bueno. It's funny because everything you read about babies, especially sleeping topic stuff, it usually says "give it a couple of nights" or a "couple of tries" and it's so true! It wasn't hard when we were first trying to get her to sleep a full night, at least not emotionally, for me. It was emotionally hard, this time around, with trying to get her to sleep by just putting her down in bed, no nursing. To hear her cry was horrible. I felt like I was suffering right along with her. The first night, we both went in to rescue her a couple of times. It was the longest two hours for all three of us. The second night, I think we went in only once to give her her pacifier. She may have cried for about an hour or so. Then last night...Baby Girl had her bottle of warm milk (yeah, she's a princess), we picked up the toys, and then read a couple of books. I told her I loved her, gave her a kiss, and put her down in her crib. She cried a bit, at first, nothing unusual. I turned off the light and closed the door.

It wasn't until about a half hour later that we realized that she wasn't crying. She was quiet. She was sleeping! Sunday came and it was glorious!

Tonight the same has happened, only I started hearing music coming from her room and I realized she turned on one of her glow worm toys. She's so precious!

Moral of the story: "Sunday's a'coming!" Don't give up!

Sometimes I put her to work :)

Just Around The Riverbend!

In twelve days Baby Girl is turning one and you know what this means? Our nursing days are over! For now anyway...until the next one comes around. At least, the days will be done with long enough for me to enjoy my wardrobe again.

I know, I may sound like a horrible mother right now, but that whole "I love to nurse" never happened with me. It was actually kind of traumatizing in the beginning. It got better around month four. When Baby Girl was around a month old we did bottles for about a 24-hour period. Then the lactation nurse from Kaiser introduced the shield, which saved my life and Baby Girl's life. There was just no way that I was going to be able to continue nursing her without it.

I'm not sure why it took so long for us to work the whole process out. Sometimes I think it was just because her mouth was so little, but the nurses never said anything about her size. Either way, there was a lot of tears from the both of us. Oh, and the guilt! Goodness! She wasn't gaining weight very well or as fast as she should have been and I heard so many times "try it without the shield", "pump more", "just let her keep eating until she lets go herself". I felt like I was failing our baby. My life-long best friend and I both agree that there is some kind of postpartum depression that comes with nursing.

Like I said, it did get better and all of a sudden she was eating, I wasn't bleeding, and it's been going well ever since. When she was teething it was kind of painful for her to eat and there was a lot of fussing. Overall though, it was, I think, as nursing should be. I do prefer it to formula because I know it's the best thing for her, it makes me stop the busyness of life and just be with her, and it is our little time where I have the excuse to close the door and be away from all who may be in our home (I'm an introvert!). It's not the most terrible thing in the world, but we're weaning now and it is kind of nice to be able to take her out and not have to worry where I'm going to feed her - though, let me tell you, Southcoast Plaza has a beautiful family restroom with really nice nursing rooms. I can wear things that don't have easy access. I don't have to worry about her sweating to death underneath her nursing cover.

I feel less stressed. And, I know, I probably shouldn't feel stress when it comes to nursing, but I do at times. I don't know, maybe I sound horrible and cold, but it's true. I am so looking forward to the end of nursing and the onslaught of sippy cups!