She was

She was my mentor. She was my mom. She was my friend.

She was the definition of integrity. It didn't matter which role she played, she was who she was. Her honesty, sometimes gentle and other times abrupt, was what I needed during my second set of impressionable years.

It was through her Christ-filled heart, my heart became whole.

She was my example of a pastor's wife before I even knew I was going to one day say "yes" to Pastor Husband. She was my example of a mom. She was my example of loving the Lord and loving a neighbor.

She was incredibly strong with moments of graceful exhaustion. Her brave countenance often covered her pain. It was hard to get her to talk about herself because she was so interested in you and your life.

We were given six years together, six years to share life. I wish it had been a lifetime, but I'm thankful for the gift of her time - no matter how much more I wanted.

I owe what my life is now to her.

I think there is a collective ache and an inner duel of having a peaceful heart because she is finally fully whole, but also a sadness of not having her anymore.

I don't know...I don't know how to feel. I know I'm thankful for the glimpse of life we were able to share. Thankful that both of my children were held by her hands. Thankful that Pastor Husband loved/loves her as much as I did/do.

She was so much more than can ever be written.