Thursday, October 16, 2014

Captivating Retreat - Day 1 (some of it)

I've long denied the princess in me. I don't like the color pink and to think I needed a man was just a "weakness" I wasn't going to accept. To me, a princess, was a girl (not a woman) who was helpless, insecure, unable, useless, and just made a man work harder than needed.

I've realized that my princess perception is WRONG! So very, very wrong and my mindset was one of the many things causing dead space God and I.

If we're accepting the truth that we are God's beloved daughters then we have to accept that we are a princess...He is the King! What else would we be? I am a princess and that princess is built in us when God knits us all together. I see it in Baby Girl.

She saw the Disney princesses for the first time when she a little over two-years-old and you would think she found her long lost friend. It was as if this whole new part of her came alive that was lying dormant until the right secret code came along. That secret code came in a giant, twirling dress. Ever since then it's been princess dresses, fluffy skirts, princess stories, curtsy-s, dancing, singing - and I am truly delighting in her. She even calls Pastor Husband "My King" when he comes home or when Baby Dos Dragon is invading her castle.

I pray the princess in her grows with each passing day and that mine will begin to breathe again.

Back to what God's princess should be - Romanced, Irreplaceable, and Beautiful. This goes along with a woman's (not a man's at all) core desires:

  • to be romanced
  • to play an irreplaceable role
  • to unveil beauty
Our core desire is not to just be useful! I think I fall into this role a lot. I figure if I'm volunteering at church, getting all my chores done, doing activity after activity with the kids then I must be living out my purpose. So wrong! Useful has nothing to do with your heart. The core desires have everything to do with our hearts. Everything. 

Back in the day, on any given Tuesday, to be useful was all I knew. I showed I was useful by working as hard as possible in school and at work. I was going to be known for how hard I work and that I was dependable and that nothing shook me. Obviously, being this way did not fulfill any of my desires (I wasn't aware that they were my desires) because I was more than irreplaceable - students come and go, employees come and go - there is nothing romantic or beautiful about an "A" or a promotion.

So, how do I figure out the desires or allow those desires to come alive?

Well, God is pursing us with intensity, passion, and mercy. Jesus has the power to awaken those desires. There is still hope to have all the hurt that has smushed, battered, locked up our princess and broken our desires into shards. Jesus heals, gives life to the full, and He has overcome the world, which has only given us perverted definitions of our desires.

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